‘The greatest of all battles is the battle to end the battle with the self’.
Imagine the horror of actually seeing someone in the street wrestling on the floor with themselves. Pushing and kicking themselves, grabbing themselves, biting and poking themselves and literally tying themselves in knots, and at the same time verbally abusing themselves.
Well that’s what a lot of us do in varying degrees physically and mentally but in secret. Some people openly do it but generally they are taken away in a strait jacket and sectioned in a mental hospital. But think about it, this is what people do.
A fantastic old film called Wings of Desire by Wim Wenders came on late one night and I wept as I watched parts of it. There was a later version called City of Angels with Nicolas Cage. It was about higher beings who were watching us from a higher realm as we lived our lives, and they could also hear everybody’s thoughts. It was a perfect illustration of how tormented most people really are, and the terrible noise, dispute and debate and chitter chatter we endure in our minds. Just imagine being on a bus stop or a train carriage and being able to hear everyone’s thoughts, it would be overwhelming and shocking.
Most people are living in quiet despair with their thoughts and feelings in every waking moment and even while asleep.
People are generally scared to say how they truly feel through fear that others will say they can’t cope or they are having a breakdown or something.
This system makes people feel that way, that they must not be seen to have weaknesses or cracks in their character. How many people do we hear say how they really feel when asked how they are? Very few of course not. We dare not expose our delicate feelings and admit that we may actually feel desperate, lonely, and sick of our jobs that we don’t like and don’t want to go to. Sick of running on the treadmill and hamster wheel without saving any money, and thus just literally working to pay bills. Sick of not being able to spend more time with our children, feeling depressed each day as we have the drudgery of the alarm clock, work, home and sleep. And just generally being really sick of feeling sick and tired of this whole damn system. Sound a bit familiar to you? I bet. Most people feel it, but it’s their secret, not wanting to seem like they aren’t strong successful, successes! Oh how this system plays on that in us.
Let us treat ourselves with respect and dignity and be our best friends rather that our worse enemy, and let us fan the flames of our love and joy within our own souls. Let us look at our own hands now, hands tired and scarred with the struggle, and let us hold one of our hands in the other, so very gently but firmly, as if greeting a dear old friend we had been estranged from for such a long time. Feel and look at our hands as we hold one in each, and tell them thank you for helping us so much, and to say sorry for taking them for granted.